Hours spent in food preparation: 4.5.

Number of Canadians invited: 1.

Remarkably good-looking women present: 7.

Cameras brought: 4.

Countries represented: 5.

Cranberry juice consumed: lots.

Britney Spears remixes played: lost count.


Apartment space in square feet: 45. (I swear.)

Potatoes peeled: 876,784,895.

Snide remarks made about French cusine: 17.

Calories consumed: seven billion. (Mostly in mashed potatoes. Also mostly by me.)

Having your first expat Thanksgiving: priceless. Or countless. Whatever.