Tuesday, October 12, 2010

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despair is a slow death, and a lifetime of
anger is like a lifetime of heavy drinking:
it shows in your face and your eyes and
your words even when you think it doesn't.
[shauna niequist]
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I used to not trust old people. Things have changed now.
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I think that when we are young, we are almost universally good at deception. You can hide behind the promise of eventual redemption. When you are young, no one can tell if you are good or not, because your face doesn't have to own up to anything yet.
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But then you wake up one day, and everything is different, because you can feel it coming, the thing that was never supposed to happen but is going to take you somewhere else. Everyone else can sense it too, in your breath, in your eyes.
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By the time you are old, really old, have lived for almost a century, maybe loved, certainly worked and bled, you have either really begun to die or really begun to live. The camp you have chosen is apparent.
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This is why I trust old people now. Young people are a different story entirely.