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set that bloodless timber alight

[anne]

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i miss my dog.

i miss the way she stretches out flat on her back when i rub her stomach, not on her side like other dogs. i miss the way she tucks her head over the ridge of the car window to brace herself when i go around turns too fast, and then turns and looks at me as if to say, You took that turn too fast.

i miss the way she dog laughs, her mouth wide open, the way she whines a little when i don't open the gate fast enough to let her come with me to water the garden. i want to see her prance again, when she catches the tennis ball straight out of the air and is so proud of herself she can't stand it. I want to watch her grow again.

i want her to lie on my stomach, stretch out over my legs like i'm a couch, sit on my head when we're camping and i'm trying to sleep. why does she do that? it's so weird.

i want to bring her on this next adventure and all the adventures after it, to ride with me in the car, to run next to me outside. i want to introduce her to all the new dogs and people i meet. i want to find her a yard, a garden i'll train her not to dig in, a clothesline to run under, a bed inside for cold winter nights. I want to find her dog parks to meet new friends, teach her nonsense things like how to play dead and stand on her back legs. i want to learn things i need to know from her, like how to trust, how to live in moments, how to be simply happy.