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girl #1: where's anne?
girl #2: she wandered off to get some marshmallows.
girl #1: typical.
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i get in my car and i like it. i like being in my car, even though i owe it to other people and it knows it too. there are a bunch of ashtrays from the store in it, so it smells like work, kind of spicy. the rosaries are irritating my neck so i take them off and hook them on the rearview mirror for safekeeping. i got them from joyce. she loves it when i wear them to work. sometimes people seem offended, but to joyce everything is sacred so nothing is.
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i drive and i like to drive too. i like to trick myself into thinking that i'm going somewhere. i would rather be driving someplace familiar than not driving someplace not familiar, i think. i think.
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earlier i was sitting in foreign policy and staring at the map on the wall. my professor, who is old and looks kind of like an off season santa clause, is pointing out something interesting about south korea. i want to listen to him, because i think he's one of the few live people i know and i think that i would have a crush on him if i was in my mid-sixties and i also think that i'm going to be tested over this at some point.
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but i'm not listening because the map looks stupid all the sudden and i can't take it seriously. all the lines and chunks cut off and divided up, pieces of land named things that someone just made up, borders inked in black that don't even exist. it's just dirt. i would walk right over them if i wasn't smart and aware that the world isn't what it really is, it's what everyone else says that it is.
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i park at school. rosaries back on. i won't be crucified for that.
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i think.
